--all hail the Bicycle Jesus! Hallelujah! ---

Hear the Word
of the Lord


Bicycle Jesvs, rose marble stone carving, Rome, DCCCLXIX.

"But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into the darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

--BJ warns of the dangers of derailleuring at night, Matthew 8:12

Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
--Mark 8:34

And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
--Matthew 10:38

So, it's pretty clear, I guess. Ya gotta getcher official Cross of Bicycle Jesus, or you just might miss out on all the splendors of Bicycle Heaven. Many are ignorant of the gospel, but taken with the simple beauty of the cross, wear it without the knowledge of its symbolism. Teach them well, brothers and sisters.

There's a pile of them on the altar at the shop if you're shy a chain tool, but you really should make one yourself. Ya know, helping those that help themselves and all. Blessings provided with homage and alms, as always.

 

The Bicycle Lord's Prayer

Our Father, whose art's in heaven,
Hollow be thy frame. Thy links' cogs run.
Thy wheel be done on earth, as it is in bicycle heaven.
Give us this day our steely thread.
And forgive us our dents, as we forgive our denters, or dentees.
So why not lead us into temptation, as long as you're delivering us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the pedal power, and the chrome-plated glory, for ever.

Amen.

 

Behold, I shall send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
--Matthew 11:10

You can see that BJ is plainly responsible for bicycle couriers. We thank the noble, mobile denizens of the street for their daily service unto the lord, and hope all those stupid sheep with their cellphones and cars might glean a clue.

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Bicycle Jesus hath spoke-en.