Dookie X
aka: the Jester, the Baffler, Peggy, Adam, Hamster Patrol, Webguy
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I can pick boogers you can't even dream of.  And, yes, that is rye toast.  And, no, that bike?  It'll never work.
Made all 3 or 4 of the first friggin' choppers, made the first 3 tallbikes, while servng as a direct conduit to our Bicycle Jesus.  Breathed in life early (you slacks), and now blow it up your asses if you're not up to speed.  Got a little tired but kept helping after the push, but the *best prospect ever* picks up mass slack.  And others, too, grandly confabulate.  But I'm tired, the website rocks, lemme alone, I'll play with that.  Pick it up, kids.  Oh, and guard the bikes, prospect!  And I need jest gently, the wit's way sharper than a rapier.  I bother so little with drama that I don't care who -you- screw.  Bring your bike bottle.

  and many many more to come...

Turn Ons: violent thunderous rains, long sleep, dry socks, twinpops, silent riding, PDX, rye toast, C₂H₅OH, gardening, gainful employment, hot bicycle girls, downhill, the Joust, javascript, grog, barley-pop & hop-juice, plastisol, X-actos, rattle-cans, cat-like reflexes and balance, hair, the tiniest shards of humor, scabs, scars, blood

Turn Offs: uphill, bolt cutters, fisticuffs, dental work, drunken idiots, belligerence, glaucoma, poverty, depression, Celtic black moods, flat tires, ass-stank, wet socks, scurvy, discrepancy, disrepair, decay, putrefication